This is a sticky subject but the reality is not all women are in marriages where the spending and savings duties are equal; or a healthy situation currently in their marriage. Some women are even in a position of working to put themselves in line to leave their spouse, match their income, have their own accounts to alleviate the stress on their household finances, or even escape an abusive relationship. While it’s not a pleasant discussion for many, it’s necessary for many as well. So let’s get into it….

As someone who has been in this same circumstance before, the reality is working in some fashion is essential. I wanted to escape an abusive situation but I had a newborn, no car, and recently had to move far away from small town transportation and means of getting to a physical job. I had a choice to make. I got a stroke of luck that helped me.

I had turned on the TV one day and The View just happened to be on and beginning that second was a segment on work from home jobs that were legitimate careers to start with no education that I could try. One resonated with me but I will share a few here. I never watched this show but I watched this episode the rest of the show because it was divine intervention for me!

One suggestion was working as a freelance writer. I loved writing for hours into the night and I’d often been told I was a great writer….but could I use it as a tool to make money every month to feed my baby, buy diapers, save for a car, and move out on my own to safe environment by the end of the year; or sooner? I immediately tried the websites they recommended. At the time, those sites were called Elance and Odesk. I ended up doing well! I made more than minimum wage at least and neither of us starved. I did get lucky that my parents let me move in with them and got me a beat up old car to at least work a second “real” job as a night manager at the hotel one mile down the road. That job allowed me to work a lot with my freelance career simultaneously.

I wrote articles for everything from hemorrhoid creams to tractor trailer marketing ads, to ghostwriting horror short stories, and websites for bloggers and their websites. My very first job was actually a celebrity gossip columnist. I didn’t give a damn about celebrities and gossip is ridiculous but I had a new mouth to feed and rescue. Within an hour of signing on, the news broke Farrah Fawcett had died. I got to work. Four hours later, Michael Jackson did too. I wrote articles and updates every hour as those stories were evolving and filled my 20 article quota for the week quick! When I ran dry on ideas, I thought of every C grade celeb I could and did a “Where are they now” segment. I eventually got better gigs in fitness and writing medical articles for doctors. I even ended up writing articles on the NFL, on my own for fun, on the Indianapolis Colts because my favorite player was Peyton Manning and CLEARLY we were poised for a Super Bowl run! We were. We lost..but we did make it to the big game again, losing to the New Orleans Saints. I had no connection to Indianapolis. None. Nadda. But I loved watching him play and I was fired up to see him win another championship. I joined online chat groups on fan sites and their media team took notice of the full length articles I was writing. Eventually they were being featured on the Colts website on the front page with my name in the byline. I used that recognition to beef up my resume and expand my reach to potential editors. It worked and I did more in sports and nutrition.

I started feeling brave and ready to dive into writing books, children’s books, because my son was a toddler now and I loved making up stories for him. I started a Facebook account and began searching pages and groups to find people who wanted to be authors too or already were getting their foot in the door. Literary Agents weren’t quite warming up to my stories so through research and finding like minded people, I made the dive into self publishing, a third stream of income for me, with my freelance work and “real” job now working at an assisted living center. I had no experience there either and no child care one day when I saw they were hiring. They didn’t require a degree so instead of not going into apply because I had my baby with me alone, I sent a resume with a kind letter as professional I could, explaining my desires to pivot from dead end jobs, help people instead, and my ambitions for the future that weren’t related but showed my eagerness and motivation as an employee in general. I got the job. My self published books weren’t selling much at first so I needed this and my freelance gigs to keep going and pay bills. Eventually, those books and more in adult genres like crime and historical nonfiction would pay me residuals every month.

For anyone reading this, you will have to create opportunities too where there aren’t any. I had no education or experience in anything I wanted to do. I created a portfolio of pieces based on the job listings I saw every week so even if I didn’t get what I applied for, I was building my portfolio. Every company and editor wanted 3 samples of work so I created as many as I could in every industry I saw. I researched like crazy to learn enough to get the jobs and be knowledgeable in my articles. Then, I found better and more lucrative ways to work from home that were inexpensive to start and paid really well!

By this time, I’m married with a baby on the way and I’m working at a veterinarian office because I walked in and asked if there were any volunteer positions available because my dream was still to go to college and work with animals. They gave me an unpaid internship on the spot and eventually I became a vet tech! I was also working at Macys as a sales agent and worked my way up to a specialist with Ralph Lauren. Everyone started calling me Rachel which I actually loved, I won’t lie. I was also getting married so money was finally not an issue anymore. The problem? My doctor wanted to put me on bedrest and I also wanted to stay home for at least a year after my second son was born. I would not be returning to either job and I wasn’t working much freelance anymore. So, I needed something else.

One of my very loyal customers at Macy’s was a real estate agent and she really believed I had the personality, drive, and ability to start a business from scratch and be successful. So I did! After my son, was born, during feedings and naps, I would study for my real estate course. I only needed twenty hours to take the licensing exam. The whole course, books included, was $250. I aced my test first try and found a local brokerage to who took me on and I was off. I started slow but eventually found success with Instagram, blogging, sending mailers, and getting better at meeting people to do okay for six years before moving to New York full time. This career gave me the ability to make good money, work my own time, be with my kids, and when my daughter was born (3rd child) I worked night and day to study for my national lending exam so I could work remotely from home with her after she was born. It was cheap and fast like my real estate program. Fast forward to 2024, and I will be licensed in multiple states as an agent and lender while working from home and making a high income.

Why the life story? To tell you how I got here, created my destiny when it was bleak, kept striving for more without degrees and money, and how I found my own path to ditch bad relationships and make my own way without my husband to fall back on or an abusive partner who would have surely killed us one day soon. Money is the biggest killer of marriages; arguing over spending, who’s contributing more, husband very controlling of money, financial abuse, or the woman needing her own income and accounts to leave without him having access to.

I encourage women to do what I did and look at their STRENGTHS, even if it’s not your passion, to what can you profit off of. Think about people on local Facebook groups offering to do mobile detailing, yard work, dog walking, etc. Can you strap a baby on you and walk or take transit to those places and restart your life? Do you have crochet or custom cake and cookie skills people will pay to have at their parties or just for fun and order? My son did oil changes at 15, made easy custom cutting board shapes, and other items for cheap for a profit before he could be hired by law at a job.

What passions do you have? Do you crochet, write, paint, photography, etc that can be sold locally or on Etsy? What could you learn in a few months to do? Any of these? Maybe real estate too or becoming an insurance agent? Virtual assistant? Maybe you’d be a great influencer even. These days, affiliate marketing, drop shipping, content creation, and more are allowing you to work just from your phone and make monthly income that is stable and legit.

For some more ideas, go to Pinterest and just look around for “Work from home jobs”, Side hustles”, “Things you can sell”, etc and go down the rabbit hole of suggestions. Something will speak to you! You are not alone and millions of us have been there, or are, and we are here for you. If you ever need help, always call the national hotlines for domestic violence, your local battered women’s shelter, and other resources. Google can help you find dozens more near you and nationwide support. Get the help you need to be free!! This time next year, could be so much better and happy. You deserve it and I will help you get there. I believe in you wholeheartedly. Message me anytime. ❤