You’ve heard this advice before but how legitimate is it and when is it best to do so?

The most important aspect to remember is that even the rate you’re wanting to “date” is something achievable and won’t create stress for you. Buyers have been approved for mortgages beyond their financial reach and it’s important to understand what you know about your finances. Your debts are included in your credit decision but not most of your expenses.

As lenders, we’re not looking at regular expenditures such as groceries and gas, or costs of kid sports and school needs. We aren’t digging deep into your pockets to understand how much you spend on Amazon and Target. We look at total credit card debt and total bank balances but we’re not here to nitpick how much you spend to live every month, dollar for dollar. That’s now how approvals work. For some, that can be bad.

Maybe when you apply, you’ve got a good savings tucked away to purchase and a decent income to verify. On paper, you’re a solid candidate but you spend paper that doesn’t get analyzed by the bank. Maybe your credit cards are paid down or you’ve got another account separate for shopping and miscellaneous so we don’t see that you have an expensive lifestyle—whether a spending problem or just a lot on your plate. For some, a mortgage doesn’t let them have those anymore or save for vacations, eating out, etc. That’s not when you date the rate.

When you date the rate is when even the high rates aren’t affecting your ability to live the life you enjoy and pay for the things you enjoy or want. If you are not seeing approval amounts for a monthly mortgage that’s reasonable, date a different rate—never settle.

You marry the house when the date went well and you have a rate you can live with. Look at dating the rate as dating a potential partner—look for red flags 🚩 and don’t let it make you give up what you’re not willing to sacrifice for.

The best way to getting into the “rate dating game” is to go for a pre approval with a qualified lender. To gauge your comfort level in the meantime, take your gross income before taxes and multiply it by .28 for Conventional and .36 for FHA. If you don’t like what you see, put more money away to put more down so you can get a better payment by putting more down. While you don’t need 20% these days, I always recommend at least 5% to lower your monthly mortgage payments on your loan m. 6-8% is even better if you can do it.

Mess around with online mortgage calculations, you can Google them, and plug in numbers you like. Remember to consider home insurance, taxes, and round up to the next hundred. Play with down payments too and see what might get you closer to your comfort zone. It might be rates are too high to get there or that you just need a little more saved to marry the house now and date the rate until refinancing next year if rates drop.

Marry the house when dating the rate is a comfortable price or wait a few months and shop the market again. Don’t commit if it’s not worth it to you. Don’t marry the house if you won’t even date the rate!!